We Rate Dogs

On Twitter and on Facebook there's plenty to depress.
So much of what we see evokes dismay, chagrin, and fear.
To counteract our feeling that the world's a hopeless mess,
A post from We Rate Dogs is an unfailing source of cheer.

Molly the spaniel likes to doze
On hand-embroidered cushions when
She's tired. I would boop her nose.
She's rated 13 out of 10.

While colleges are much concerned with rampant grade inflation.
It's heartening that some to outside pressure have not bent.
No, We Rate Dogs still sternly guards its hard-earned reputation
For highest standards rig'rously enforced. They're good dogs, Brent.

Come on, guys. Please do not submit
A dogless photo yet again.
A crimson tufted bear. But it
Is awful cute. 12 out of 10.

Carl and Fred the Airedales are committed to their goals.
They'll make their fortune finding treasure buried on the beach.
They excavate for hours. They produce enormous holes.
I'd join them with a shovel. 14 out of 10 for each.

Note: these do not correspond to actual posts on We Rate Dogs; they are just my imitation of the style.

This is part of the collection Verses for the Information Age by Ernest Davis