For Gary

My writing's full of wisdom and of wit,
Instructive but unfailingly amusing.
My co-author's not at all impressed with it:
"Chaotic, and too clever, and confusing".

I've written in a most engaging style.
I've mastered the colloquial, for sure!
He says I've missed the target by a mile.
"It's orotund, offensive, and obscure."

I've clobbered all our scientific foes,
Demolished all their theories, tanned their hide.
He disapproves my devastating prose:
"Sarcastic, supercilious, and snide."

I penned a masterpiece this afternoon.
We could send it to the Times or the Atlantic.
The answer comes by email all too soon:
"Predictable, pretentious, and pedantic."

This is part of the collection Verses for the Information Age by Ernest Davis